13 July, 2014

She's cheating on me but I still love her.

To me, there seems to be two types of people – preservationists (the normal ones) and visionaries. When preservationists are uncomfortable they back away, looking for the quickest way to a nicer existence, which is downright sensible. Visionaries are those people who search out meaning or reason in the discomfort. “This will make me stronger for next time”, you know the kind I mean. Somewhere along the way I lost my vision.

Cycling is so akin to a relationship it’s uncanny sometimes. She’s a gorgeous mistress but my god a tiring one; all lips and hips and cheeky looks behind people’s backs, only for you. You think. You make yourself believe she’s the one, but she’s fickle, and she's naughty. One day you’re chosen and you unite; fabulous, passionate, obsessive. Then one week later, less even, she cheats on you and you’re left staring wistfully up the road from the grupetto, lusting to be lucky once again.

I got sick of it recently. I wanted something more stable, for once, something safe. A passion that wouldn’t have me fretting every minute of every day. Something that would reliably give me satisfaction, on a fairly logical basis. So I thought anyway.

Then I realised, the incredible times are just great, the great times only good. The lows aren’t so nauseatingly profound but I would rather feel dreadful than nothing at all.

There will come a time when I will succumb to the real world and my wrinkles, but it’s not now, not yet. I don’t ever want to settle. For now, I'll stay cycling's illegitimate mistress.

25 May, 2014

One Day I'll Look Back On This and Laugh, from the Counsellor's Chair

We didn't have a race this weekend, which was a relief for me after being pretty violently ill last weekend. I finished the first stage of the tour last Friday and then spent the entire night spewing into a toilet. I haven't been ill like that for about ten years and here's to hoping it's at least another ten before it happens again! 

Anyway, that put a premature end to my tour. I'm not usually finished that quickly, I promise... Since then I've had a helluva week, trying to get back the 3 kilos I lost, and feeling like an all round champion of life. Spirits have been high!

So this weekend was just a team time trial training camp, which turned out to be quite difficult. This is because we have a very important TTT next Saturday for a round of the Coupe de France. Yesterday was repeated 3km efforts up a climb, naturally, in the morning followed by 6km efforts up the same climb in the afternoon. I didn't vomit again, but a couple of the others did, which speaks for itself really.

Today was a 66km 'race simulation' which meant skin-suits, race wheels, proper warm ups, the full whack. I helpfully decided to simulate some potential worse-case scenarios for the guys like having no front brake and nearly crashing, and my gears ceasing to work (three times). My aero helmet also fell to pieces, so I had to chuck the aero lid bit in a ditch after 5km. It really was laugh or cry stuff! After my third gear malfunction I got back on and did the last 12km with the lads. My legs felt a world better than yesterday but that is speaking relatively, of course. 

This week I plan to re-find my mojo, pronto, because currently I'm dancing like a puppet without any strings. Until next time internet friends.